A while ago the Peak Shrink ran this piece on how Sweating the Small Stuff grinds us down.

It’s the small stuff. I know, I should be focused on losing my transportation in a place with no bus service, or whether I’ll have the mortgage next month, but that’s not what truly bugs me, and causes me a melt-down.

I know the feeling; I'm pretty much into the whole Peak Oil, economic meltdown, climate change, pandemic arena by now, I have plans and backups and strategies and I'm pretty sure that when one or another of them, maybe more than one, is declared, I wont do the stunned mullet thing with the "this can't be happening" overtones.

But dealing with the huge things, while challenging, is still a conceptual thing, even when it is actually happening. Over the last few days I've been watching an accumulation of direct and indirect small stuff and been appreciating how hard it can be to deal with.

Last night one of my dogs started having breathing problems. 11PM and 15 KM to the emergency vet who shot her full of steroids and antibiotics and I drove home with a much happier dog.

But in a constrained world I might not have the fuel to spend on a 30KM midnight dash, I might not be able to afford the $188 fee, I might not have a car at all. It was stressful enough dealing with her distress, but not being able to do anything about it till the next day, or longer? Try that for size.

My other dog has progressive loss of function in his left side (possibly a tumour pressing on his spinal chord) we are already facing the fact that he may not last much longer than his nearly 13 years, but the small stuff of actually dealing with it is the real kicker.

The other day one branch of the family had a separation after 21 years, a diagnosis of treatable bowel cancer and a fall from a ladder, all 3 people over 60, all in one day. All small enough stuff for those except the ones directly involved, but additive.

My SIL lost his job with Fujitsu a while back and with employment scarce he is planning to do a teaching diploma, meanwhile my daughter's company is pretty tight right now and can't pay her what they agree she is worth.

A colleague of my wife's, on whom she depends for critical parts of her work tried to auction her house last weekend, no bids and interest only $300K below their needed price, oh, and her daughter was made redundant yesterday. Nothing directly to do with us, but I'll bet it affects her work performance.

Small stuff, dealing with it well will be the key to whether we get through this thing or go postal.

Comments

[Saltation]

yeah. it's always the "small stuff".

like, somebody HAS to do all these bloody dishes. it's driving me nuts. i need to get a flatmate or something so i can shout at someone instead of sitting here doing something, anything, more interesting.

[Earl Mardle]

My wife has this little mantra, "there is no such thing as a trivial issue".

And its amazing how often dealing with a small thing turns into a bigger and more important one.

The cousin above with the bowel cancer is known in the family for being totally laid back, except that, late in the period of nursing her mother she let oput that if the old lady died the next day she would NOT go to the funeral.

I tend not to sweat the small stuff and I have to keep reminding myself that my wife is right about this.

[Saltation]

actually: you're BOTH right. the two truths are not exclusive.

[jeff paul portal]

well Earl i must encourage you for sharing such a thing .