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November 19, 2008



well put

Earl Mardle

and one more thing. When a smart guy like Sal hands out a compliment, it means something and it is really good to get, as social currency and capital it is bankable. But we can all create that kind of value out of the thinnest air.

Real praise is such a great thing, not the fake "pat them on the head so they keep working" crap but something genuine makes a difference.

And it doesn't have to be what a great job you are doing, it can be as simple as, "thanks for turning up".


(aw. and: pfft)

here's something else to throw into your interpersonal group skills/behaviour quiver:

telling people something is negative, when it IS negative, can be profoundly motivating and creating-of a real feeling of that same group-bonding team-spirit.
ie: humans really value truth.
and they REALLY value the attention-to-them implicit in you making sure that you understand what they've done, and why.

nb: i'm not talking about whinging or bitching or sniping or backhanded compliments. i'm talking about simple evaluating.

ie: truth about an objective reality, rather than couched in terms of a status hierarchy. while couching it in terms and tone that make it clear you've fully watched and listened to THEM.

Earl Mardle

perfect timing Sal.

I spent an hour last night telling a mate that the game he thinks he is in is not what he thinks it is and that he is headed for disaster unless he sets clear limits and has a clear picture of what failure means.

At the end he admitted that he called because he knows that I will tell him what I believe to be the unvarnished truth, regardless of how bad it seems.

But its not easy getting the tone right and coming off as a smart arse, especially when one has a tendency to being a smart arse.

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